author's note: some time after Caden and Ryan get togther Cade is injured. The effects of the injury and Cade's coping mechanisms eventually break up the relationship. Blaine is Ryan's best friend.

Blaine rang the doorbell to Cade’s apartment. As he suspected, nobody answered. He took out Ryan’s key, unlocked the door and stepped inside. The rooms were dark, the blinds down and light only fell through some narrow slits. It smelled of stale air, sweat, smoke, alcohol and a slight tinge of Cade. Blaine shuddered. Cade’s apartment had never been especially welcoming, but it had been stylish, very masculine and, most of all, clean. This place was a dive. Blaine stepped into the living room. That was when he saw the thin figure sprawled half on the couch, half on the floor. 

“Cade ?” Blaine whispered. 

The figure stirred and a blonde head turned towards him. Cade’s face was pale and sweaty, but the cheeks were flushed. He had to be at least mildly drunk. Or drugged. Probably both. Cade squinted his eyes and took a deep breath. He coughed. 
“Blaine…didn’t hear you come in,” he moved to get up, but fell on the floor. 

“That doesn’t surprise me,” Blaine stated dryly. 

With lots of effort, Cade managed to crawl onto the couch. 

“I’m here to get Ryan’s stuff,” Blaine explained. 

Cade uttered a joyless laugh. “Sure,” he waved his hand, “Make yourself at home.” 

“Yeah, whatever,” Blaine frowned.

On his way into the bedroom he wondered whether he should cry or go and beat some sense into this asshole. He decided to do neither and rather worked as quickly as possible, gathering Ryan’s belongings. It wasn’t much although Ryan had practically made this his permanent home. The two men had shared almost everything, so Ryan obviously hadn’t seen any need to bring more with him. Oddly, this act of intimacy was an advantage after their break-up. Blaine would be glad to get out of there, clothes, magazines and empty bottles were strewn everywhere. He moved to the bathroom, then finally back to the living room, packed some CDs and books away and closed the bag he had brought with him. 

Cade was nowhere to be seen and Blaine considered simply leaving again. Somehow, he couldn’t bring himself to do it though. If it was that hard for him to leave Cade behind, he could only try to imagine how hard it had been, and still was, for Ryan. Blaine left the bag in the corridor and went into the kitchen. 

Cade was sitting on the floor, half leaning against a cupboard. His head rested on his left hand that held a cigarette, a glass with clear liquid was in his right. Blaine doubted it was anything non-alcoholic. When he heard Blaine come in, he looked up. 

“You got everything ?” he asked. 

Blaine nodded, feeling worse. Cade sounded almost sober. Almost. After dragging on his cigarette, he pulled himself to his feet and slowly exhaled the smoke. 

“You look like shit,” Blaine couldn’t help saying. 

Cade emptied the glass with one big gulp and set it aside. “Thank you,” his smile was a sneer. 

“Do you take your medicine ?” 

“Yes, mom.” 

“Cade, this isn’t funny. You’re killing yourself.” 

“What I do or don’t do is none of your business,” Cade took a step forward, swayed and steadied himself holding on to a chair. “It suits you, pretty boy. You and Mr. Perfect, playing good Samaritans. But I have no use for it.” 

Anger built up inside of Blaine, but it quickly turned into regret “You’re right. You have no use for love, you don’t even know what it is.” 

Cade dragged on his cigarette again and nodded “Of course. And you know it all so well.” 

“I’ve seen it. And you had it, Cade. You had it all. You threw it away.”

“No!” For the first time, Cade rose his voice “Your boy threw it away. I’m sick and tired of being the villain. I don’t want to be your shadow any more. Shine Blaine, shine in your glory. And he can join right in. You make the perfect couple.” Cade took a step towards him and sniffed “You already smell of him.” 

Blaine bit back a comment about what Cade smelled like. “You’re so full of shit, Cade.” 

“Get out,” Cade stepped back and put out his cigarette, “Get out of here. I can’t stand the sight of you. Go and fuck his brains out, I don’t care.” 

“What are you talking about ?!” 

“You know what I’m talking about,” Cade sneered, “And I refuse to be his pastime.” 

“Ryan loves you! He loves you, you cold-hearted bastard, he loves you so much he put up with your fucking self-pity longer than anyone else could have.” 

“Yeah, blame it all on me. Go on,” Cade remained seemingly unimpressed. 

“You’re challenging this, aren’t you. You want everybody to loathe you. Well, it works. I am disgusted with you. Do you take some perverse pleasure in pain ?” Blaine took a deep breath, trying to gather his senses.

Cade’s expressionless face made him even more angry although he knew it was something Cade could not change,  he was someone who communicated with his eyes, never truly with his face.

It didn’t matter, Blaine thought. Both he and Ryan had spent months of trying to be gentle with him and where had it lead them ? 

“Caden,” when Blaine spoke again his voice was low, but still Cade found it hurt his ears, “You meant more to me than you can ever imagine, but, boy, you fucked this one up.” Blaine swallowed hard, “If you don’t, at the very least, set things straight and clear between you and Ryan, I will skin you alive. And you and I both know I will find you.”

Blaine stared at Cade, who had put on a faint smirk, for some more moments, not really expecting any response. Then, he just turned and left.
Cade heard the door being slammed shut and flinched. His gaze fell on the key Blaine had left on the kitchen table. Ryan’s key. 
He blinked, shuffled over to the cupboard and poured himself another drink. 
 
 

Blaine was still seething with anger when he arrived at his flat. He knew he had to calm himself though, it wouldn’t be good to add to Ryan’s distress. After taking some deep breaths, he opened the door and stepped inside. Everything seemed nice and quiet, Blaine sighed in relief. It was good to be home, it was such a contrast to what he had just left behind. He dropped the bag and went looking for Ryan. And suddenly, he realized that things were too quiet. “Ryan ?” he called. Blaine checked the whole flat, which didn’t take very long as it was rather small. Nothing. Blaine ran a hand through his dark red hair and cursed under his breath. He shouldn’t have left the man alone. He should have known it would be too risky. “Okay,” he murmured and starting chewing his nails, “okay. Calm down, Blaine. Think. Where would you go if you were…..?” Blaine’s gaze flicked to the ventilator on the living room ceiling. The roof ! 

Panic surged through his body as he rushed out of his flat and upstairs to the top of the building. He pushed the door open and stopped dead in his tracks. Ryan was sitting on the low wall that indicated the end of the roof, his back to him, his feet dangling on the other side. For the third time that day, Blaine took some calming breaths. Ryan wouldn’t do it. Not today. Otherwise he wouldn’t still be sitting there. 

“Ry ?” he called and stepped closer. The other man didn’t stir, he had probably heard him already. Nothing ever escaped Ryan. 

“You’re back,” he stated. 

“Yes,” Blaine answered. 

“Was he there ?” 

“Yes.” 

Ryan simply nodded. 

“Ryan, what are you doing here ?!” Blaine wondered why he asked, it was rather obvious, wasn’t it ? 

“Needed some fresh air,” Ryan said, breathing in deeply, “And the air’s very fresh up here…” 

There was a brief pause, Blaine didn’t know what to say.

“How many storeys ?” Ryan then asked and leaned forward. 

“Don’t !” Blaine couldn’t help but to rush forward and grip Ryan’s arm. 

Ryan turned his head towards him and chuckled. “I won’t fall,” he grinned, “Not if I don’t want to. I’m god’s kid, remember ?” He freed himself of Blaine’s hand, pushing the other back and stood. He started pacing, the black coat he was wearing fluttering behind him. 

With a giggle, he turned to Blaine again “Hey, you remember that one ? Learned it when I was a kid…,” Ryan started to sort of dance and chanted, “Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall Humpty Dumpty had a great fall All the King's horses And all the King's- whoa!” Ryan’s foot slipped and he laughed and continued, “All the King’s men…Couldn’t put Humpty together again.”

He glanced down at Blaine’s shocked face “He’s Humpty Dumpty, you know ?” Ryan giggled again. Tears spilled down his face and he shook 
his head “Humpty Dumpty….”

“Ryan, come on, this is making me sick….,” Blaine pleaded.

“Sick!” Ryan pointed at Blaine like he had just given him a cue. “A B C D E…The alphabet soup of enhancers, baby !” Ryan grinned like a maniac. “That’s what he said. When I asked him.”

Blaine started to step forward again “Ryan this is not-“

“Stay! Stay the fuck where you are!” Ryan exclaimed and held one foot above the abyss that awaited him on the other side. “This is my show.”

Blaine obeyed “You’re not being reasonable.”

“Reasonable ?” Ryan snorted. He turned his back to Blaine and spread his arms, leaning his head back. Blaine heard him laughing softly, then he started to sing “I wish that I could fly Into the sky So very high Just like a dragonfly…..I'd fly above the trees Over the seas in all degrees To anywhere I please I want to get away I want to fly away….” Ryan glanced at Blaine again and continued “Just for a little fun I want to get away 
I want to fly away….” His voice ebbed away and he blinked.

“Ry…please…” Blaine murmured.

“Yeah…” Ryan sighed and hopped down, walking past Blaine to the door. When he noticed Blaine didn’t follow, he turned and offered a faint smile “I’m not god’s kid. I’m a fallen angel."

Tilting his head, he smiled a more genuine smile “Come on, I’m cooking dinner.” With that, he slowly stepped downstairs.
 
 

[ return ]
 

Prior: I'm not ... distracted, I'm doing research. Harper: On Mormons ? Prior: On ... Angels. I'm a ... an Angelologist. Harper: I never met an angelologist before. Prior: It's an obscure discipline.